A new found love.


It could be very harmful
to make profession of disguise
And see and act through other's eyes;

If this is very often done,
A man becomes the other one.

-Anonymous

I read this and wondered, why not? Who wouldn’t want to become the ‘other one’ once in a while; Why not exchange places with other “men”?!

At some point or the other we all have loved to sneak peak into others lives, experience their love and passion, and have prayed earnestly for their dreams to come true.

Have we not traveled with the celebrated heroes of our times, shouting in joy when he hunted down the criminals; whistling when he matched word to word with his lady love and pushed that slight drop of tear away when we saw him get beaten up. We surely have loved to be on that special vantage point, and look into someone else's life, and live every moment with them.

Having done that all life myself, I wanted to get onto the other side. Be an actor and take people along that surreal experience. To rejoice in their momentary joy, that miniscule pain, the highs and lows of anxiety and hope. And what started as a hobby for me, is now an intense passion.

Theater I discovered is the most picturesque celebration of life itself. An art form so sensuous in its form and experience.

I always believed that iam ‘decently’ creative. A friend of mine likes to say “There is nothing called creativity, you just manipulate the truth. There is nothing to be created”. Though I strongly disagree with him on this, am groping in the dark myself to figure out what creativity really is.

And Theater helps me explore what creatively means to be and what I can do with it. Play-back, to be specific. My learning from the theater workshops have been varied, distinct and manifold.

A pertinent one being the ability to understand that subtle difference between real and seemingly real and explore that chasm. That essentially set me free, and helped me let go of the inhibiting self-consciousness.

It is that realization that my own self-image is not tied to the characterization is what has helped me get ‘free’ from my timidity. I could squat and spit, be a lusty prostitute, a diseased beggar, and it would do nothing to me. It is that acceptance that really facilitated imagination to blossom.The beauty of play-back is it helps one to imagine the impossible, to think beyond the normal and usual.

There is a fascinating similarity between a process lab and play-back theater. The beauty of ‘Living in the here and now’. A practice I have often wanted to master, but miserably failed to in the past. Theater now seems to be coming to my rescue.

Play-back helps me suspend a moment and play with it, to create every possible design that will make the act resonate with the real.

And yet, theater is not about the obvious; it is about taking a moment, decorating it and presenting it to someone else in such a way that they want to notice it. And relish it too.

A friend of mine often complaints that I exaggerate. I always wonder where is the demarcations really? He holds that since iam an actor iam always doing something “make-believe”. What he can’t see is acting (like life) is both make-believe and reality. It exists and still doesn’t. In a play, every moment of mine, every nuance, every “ah” has a meaning, an emotion. Just like life itself. But Yes, richer and extravagant.

Theater is an art that can touch people at different levels and perspectives. It is an art that when performed masterfully and intelligently is what I strongly believe the pure spirit of magic to be.

I have been very trusting of what I see, the world as it stands in front of me. Wanting to be absolutely aware of every subtle change around. Especially that of people and their behavior.

To notice the color of the walls as I walk past them, the wrinkles on the bespectacled old lady’s face, the dark circles of the aged widow, the smell of the newly painted house, the feel of the breeze by the window side. To experience every moment completely-to observe, question, understand and appreciate;that is exactly what theater teaches you to do.

Acting is about doing, and being. It is being someone else, yet drawing from within. To draw that parallel, to empathize, and be most sensitive to what one observes.

I particularly don’t relish a lazy Sunday evening with nothing to do; bliss lies in a life that’s vibrant and alive; one that’s filled with adventure and curiosity. And Playback is all about that exuberant spontaneity, of hilarious contradictions, of abundant creativity, and joy. And at times, wonder! Wonder at what can be done with words, silence and body.

While I’m on stage and performing, the feeling is that of standing on the top of a mounting and breathing fresh air. Of being alive. Of feeling lighter and intense at the same moment.

Play-back is also a beautiful way of exploring and practicing detachment. While at work, my manager always recommended me to stay detached so that I don’t feel hurt when things don’t work.

And I often confused detachment with dispassionate. Play-back has taught me to do exactly that, to do my piece such that it fits into the whole and give space to others to complete the picture. To do what I can to the best and trust my team too will. To breathe life into my character and facilitate others to do so. A perfect way of being a wonderful individual performer without compromising on the team goal.

Play back is one form of art that completely gives all the respect “impulse” and “gut” deserves.To just be what you can be best at, without fears, insecurities, pre-conceived notions and stereotypes.

And to respect and deeply appreciate individuality. To trust that every member out there is special and has a unique thought and personality and he/she would contribute if given the space. That makes one truly humble.

And what fascinates me most about theater is the power of impact that it can have. I recently read somewhere a member of the audience saying “I could feel on my skin every stroke, on my lips every kiss."

Wow, if I could have my audience says that I would have made a big difference. To myself, to the world .Surely Theater is teaching me a lot of lessons,
About the real and unreal;
About life and living!

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