A lyrical Moment.
(For you Lulu)


We sat there,
Savoring the soul of dusk,
Watching the clouds parade;

Tasting,
The flavor of twilight;

Soulful Nostalgia
And a memorable past.

Hopeful beginning,
And a transient present.

Restless Angst,
And an erratic future.

Watching,
The rainbow;
And the medley of emotions.
The cold breeze;
And our heavy hearts.
The slight drizzles;
And tears that peek-a-boo;

I asked,
Oh my dear friend,
What is tomorrow meant to be?
Pandora’s Box,
Or a mocking Mirage?

***

Later at night;
We sat there in a row, the 3 of us. In the midst of mahogany walls, air-conditioned space, dingy interiors and a heterogeneous mob of movie-goers.

Oh yes, I must mention that we were there to celebrate.

Meandering moods, droopy shoulders, teary eyes, insipid jokes and a frivolous laughter. This is all they could manage. My dear friends, please do give it to me. Iam quite ‘perceptive’ that way, I can sense that fake smile. And fake one myself too.

We were watching a movie. Supposedly. Infact initially we did manage to concentrate on the story those artists were trying to weave. However, the mélange of colors on the screen went on to blur after sometime for all of us, the character sketches we were drawing on our mind canvas was taking shapes like amoeba. Haphazard and perplexing! Oh, just like the many relationships in our lives.

We sat there in a row, the 3 of us .In the midst of a zillion memories- cold goodbyes, empty nights, bland coffees, banal banters ,furious arguments ,clichéd platitudes, disastrous nightmares. We sat apart; yet united in our being-our many sentiments and hopes.

The intermission arrived; the noisy crowd walked out of the hall to pick up a few of those bland popcorns. We continued to sit still on our chairs and gaze at the blank screen. Coping with the sudden brightness in the dark room, shying away from the many prying eyes and putting on that cheerful mask wasn’t an easy task. We went on to avoid looking at each other.

To my right, sat him. My good friend for 3yrs.Ofcourse, I knew all about his life. Yet, there was so much that I didn’t.

I knew very well the intensity of his emotional torment; that abysmal agony. His love story has been filled with huge melodrama, not to mention the unfavorable twists and turns. So he did have reasons to break down and confess that pain, but for some unfathomable reason he held that pubescent tear captive.

I knew very well that I had to give him the space and time to handle it, let him live through the moment and emerge of it. Hopefully, unscathed. However I wasn’t at peace, the feeling of helplessness and guilty associated with not being able to offer a quick fix solution was tremendous.

A feeling of motherly fondness took over and I wanted to reach out to him, tell him
‘All will be fine, my dear child’. Instead I chose to say “You will have to move on’. Huge platitude that. Don’t I know how impossible it is to move on, don’t I know what it is to love and lose.

I knew this too shall pass; that my soothing words might help him see through the moment but the battle was still within. He had to conquer it himself.

I was desperate to help. Yet didn’t want to sympathize. To love. Yet knowing it will not alleviate the pain. To hold his hand. Yet not hurt the male ego.

Friendship is very different from a love relationship. One doesn’t profess love for the other person every single second, one doesn’t necessarily fill the person with all details about the trivial incidents in one’s life, and one many't be able to kiss and tell. More so if the friendship is between a man and woman, you can’t get mushy really. The bond is just sensed, not expressed.

So may be, may be he did sense that I was there for him that moment. Smiling, not knowing if it was the right thing to do. May be, may be he knew that I was ready to change the world for him, to turn back the hands of time so that he can get back to the golden years of his life.

I guess he did coz he smiled back at me. And I sung this song of joy, just like the way his pet parrot used to,

Tell me,
Oh dear one;
When your world falls into pieces.

Tell me,
Oh dear one;
When that ugly tear falls down,
Just so that I could,
Catch it,
Feel it;
Share it;
Embrace it;
Just so that,
The burn doesn’t kill your soul.

Oh dear one;
If you would ask,
I will gift you my voice,
An create music in your heart;
I will gift you my passion,
And re-create that magic in your spirit.
Just that you could tame your anger!

I will gift you undying hope,
And create a world like phantasm,
Just so that your love doesn’t sour!
Just so that I can make that little difference.
Just so that I can see that supple smile back again.

----

(Dedicated to my dear friend,lulu.Have a great year ahead,birthday boy :))