Ela;

Part I.

I feel fearfully alien in this labyrinth of chaos. I know, I understand that the biggest successes don’t come in sugar coated pills and there are no easy solutions to problems in life. But yet………

I’ve over these years learnt an important lesson, some decisions are best taken instinctively &individually but yet I bought this issue to the forum, rather i was compelled to. And I realized that it is a daunting task to arrive at a happy consensus in a group that has such varied (&conflicting) opinions about anything and everything. Their maneuverings have been going on for the last 1 week now.

The whole issue has a simple solution, I thought in that fleeting moment of desperation. Kill her, kill the woman who has been scalded and shunned by one and all. What is it that is left of her but her physical self (which too has been tattered beyond repair)? Why bother now when everything is over? I guess I should try this highly recommended “patience” pill to handle the incorrigible angst.

And then I looked at her, the petite sari clad girl sitting in the corner of the room; a single tear slipped from the corner of each of her watery eye and glided over her delicate skin, glistening with emotion. I was reminded of the time that I first saw her, found her. The essence of her inner beauty radiated through those dark brown eyes, they had brought back the fondest memories of my own childhood. The aroma that surrounded these memories leaked from the pores of me, i was bursting with enormous affection that I could not hold within.

I wanted to know what she felt like now, exactly at this moment. Is she equally frustrated at chaos around her, did she want to scream and tell them all that it was her own life they were discussing and that they ought to ask her opinion. I thought she would be nervous, but didn’t sense any anxiety in her body language; in fact she seemed too calm. At first this scared me, but later amazement and admiration filled my senses. She looked up and i read saintliness, aesthetics and wisdom in that brief second of eye contact. I walked up to her.

“Ela, how are you feeling now” I asked. She simply smiled! Did she smile? Really? Why did this quote I’d read some place flash back into my mind: “The secret of life is to die before you die and find that there is no death.”

I was touched by this little child’s undying grit and calm, and wished she were untouched……by the fireflies of the forest, this brutality of life. Looking at her is a bestial reminder of man's inhumanity to (wo) man. I wonder how people who seem pretty normal, your everyday Joe, suddenly become these sadistic monsters who will stoop to any level to achieve the end. It is sobering in a way, for it tells me that power distorts all humans, men and women, and that war brutalizes entire civilizations, and yes leaves such thousands of innocent children totally broken!
There was a lot of noise outside, in the room (and inside me) but no voice heard. I’ve been numb to talk, to say, to trust. The debates were still on, in that other not-so silent side of the room. In the past whenever I’ve encountered a competition among altruistic people, I saw that humanity survived. So I believe it will, this time too. So I sat there, simply starring at her(again!).

She was silent. It seems utterly incomprehensible at times, to fathom the message these people with outward silence and inward strength & alertness seem to convey. On meeting such silent people earlier, I’ve wanted to ask them how they manage to convey everything they felt or think with their eyes and actions………didn’t they feel the need to speak? I wanted her to SAY! It is important.

Ela, Will you talk?


(Ela - Perseverance ,Earthly)