ho hums

Yes, you were right. The 20s are quite a difficult time for people like us; I only hope we don’t say the same about our 30s too. Today is another one of those days; the listlessness reigns proudly again.

I should shamelessly confess that I have no idea yet on what to live for, who to live for, why and how. Not yet. 20s are very difficult for people like us.

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My angst like a dickhead’s libido,
Rushes through the veins;
Ridiculing all thresholds.

I feed it to fire; it becomes the sparks.
I feed it to the ocean; it swims onto become waves.
I lock it up on the dark attic; it lives like a stinking bat.
I feed it to hatred; it comes back as unrequited love.

I tell you,
I wish for my life to wed the monsoon rainbow.
You laugh at me; you say,
Unfair hope often meets with blinding lightning.

I tell you,
I feel like a lame stray dog that whines and pines for a secure home.
You laugh at me; you say,
Let me state a cliché, ‘you are what you feel’.

I ask you;
Why can’t you comfort me with false truths but call them real?
You laugh at me; you say,
A warless battleground can only be an illusion.

I tell you;
I lose direction every time I presume to have found new paths.
You laugh at me; you say,
I’m no light house; just like how none of us are, in our absurd world.

I tell you;
My spectacles are broken, and earlobes bruised.
You laugh at me; you say,
Wait till you turn blind and deafness too embraces you.

I tell you;
Let’s row that same sinking boat, we might just survive.
You laugh at me; you say,
The land that you are headed to, is not where i want to rest.

I tell you;
With age, I will unknot this complex web.
You laugh at me; you say,
When tigers fly, you will have those answers.

My dear ‘brutal truth’ friend,
Thanks to you;
The angst is still like that man’s libido,
Still rushing in the veins,
Turning this bleeding blood impure.
Making my pain intolerably painful.

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