Guests

I did not invite them home, but here they are. An incessant calling bell and a disgusting smirk later, they silently walked into my little house. Being unwelcome at my place made no difference whatsoever, to these fools.

They sat there, next to the now working lamp shade - Chuckling, sneering, clapping their hands, raising eyebrows and making a mockery of my regret filled past. For a few hours. Then they calmed down a bit. I presume, they have had enough fun now. But in just about 5minutes the calm becomes alien to the room once again.

They get up from the cane chairs, walk upto the fridge in the bedroom and have a glass of water. When they realize that their back is facing the full length mirror, they turn to face it. They take a hard long look at themselves for a few minutes, and burst out laughing again all over again, as if they remembered something irresistibly funny.

This time with so much more ferocity and disdain. They were so full of jeer, that they started rolling on the dirty floor roaring with laughter, their hands placed tight on their pot belly.

“Yes, I’m the one. So What? ”. I yell at them.

They go quiet for a moment, and lend their reddish ears to me.

“Yes, I wrote those mails. I uttered those words. I’m the Cowardice, that hid behind the wall when the war broke out. I’m the zeal that had an illicit affair with sloth. I’m the daft, that was ignorant of my ignorance. I’m the greed, that lusted the material. I’m the vain, that prided the empty spirit. I’m the wrath, that nourished spiteful words. I’m the lust, that fed perversion. I’m the denial, that wrecked relationships. I’m the conviction, that turned polygamous”

“Yes, I’m the one. So what?” I ask again.

“So what?” they ask me back, their eyes softer now, their smile warm.

They now look at me with a sympathy I strongly resent. They shrug their huge shoulders,walk towards me, take my palm in theirs and kiss it comfortingly. Then they pull me closer to them and tell me a secret. "Throw the remains in the dustbin out of the house immedaitely, they stink" they whisper.

I now fall into their lap and break into tears ,they caress my back. They see I’m inconsolable. ‘We didn’t mean to hurt you’, they assure. I sniff and smile, take a deep breath, still hating them for what they put me through.

“Help me please ,give me then answers” I ask them.

They stand up now, clean their body of the dust from the floor and walk upto the wash basin. They see only the faces now, the wrinkled eyes, the unruly hair and the chubby cheeks.

“You are a narcissist”, I tell them. They turn to look at me. They smile again, this time with a not so insulting pity. A genuine warmth spreads across their face.

“Give me the answers now”, I now beg, encouraged by their friendly demeanor.

They look at the clock on the wall, and then at me. They look at each other, murmur something and run towards the door. I get up to follow them, so that I can ask them to stay back. I want to coax them, and cajole them to live with me. 'I live alone', I begin to say.

I thought I went unheard. But just before they head out, their steps slow down. They come close to me and stand at an intimate distance.

“You are better off alone. We are sorry; we don’t have the answers with us. But we leave you with the questions.” they say.

I manage a week smile. I manage a teary goodbye.

I didn’t welcome them home, but they were here. Hindsight and Memory.