Swaroski

It has been a year. One long year of exploring & knowing, revealing & reveling.

Of loving and loathing! Of laughter and laze!

It had begun well, extremely well. And ahh,been one hell of journey I must say.All shades of blacks and reds painted on life’s canvas, all genres of music relished.Embroidered threads of true passion on plains of my heart, woven beads of supremacy and sacrifice on the silks of my tender past, soaked in the warm waters of romantic ecstasy.

And the tide has subsided. Emotions Slaughtered. The Lessons learnt, soul enriched.

Where had it all begun? In the midst of multitude of mails, in between the chaos of daily grinds.
On a full moon night, that fateful one.

I’d stood gazing at the engulfing darkness, naïve and unarmored. Smiling and smitten. I’d felt like the wind. I’d felt like the rain. It had happened. And I knew it was for real, exactly like he had said. I had then, bashfully let love take over.

***

I had blushed at the thought of his words, chiding myself for the craze of long distance love. An intense desire had possessed me that night, a desire to bestow upon him all the fervor and fire that was burning within. I just want to hold you in my arms all night long, he had said.

To give selflessly, to embrace change-to acknowledge love made me feel vulnerable. But there was a strange strength in the submission, arrogance in our intimacy. I’d plunged into an ocean

of passion and pleasure; I’d reached the destination-found my purpose.

Lot has changed since that night.
***

Time flies, they say. It has. And yes, leaving behind blemishes that beautify the faces of nostalgia.

I don’t want to relive the love now. But I want to, like it is all anew.

I don’t want to hope to reunite. But I want him today, like I had never before.

I wish I’d never met him ever, but how I wish to re-wind the hands of the clock again and still that night.

These days,

His poetry like the wind snuggles up to my neck-every night his memory returns.

The picture of his smile like a feather caresses my cheeks- every day his memory returns.

I wish I could erase every memory of our bliss. But I want to remember nothing else.

The other day,

He had walked away, while I shrieked in pain. He said goodbye, with pain that was so well camouflaged in that nonchalance, I’d almost missed it. I had wondered if I can ever solve the puzzle that he is.

He was,

He was the life giving ray, the man that shaped the woman in me.

He was the music that danced into the rhythm of my existence.
He was the artist that sculpted the knowledge of sensuality in my being.

Those days,

I’d wondered if he is the future I’ve been yearning for, all life long.
I’d wondered if ecstasy could be heart-wrenching; an acknowledgement so powerful.

I had seen him in every joy around me, I felt him in the deepest of my yen.

I was awakened, I was alive.

***

Memories engraved.
And the memory like a honey smeared sword pierces through my lonely nights.

It has been a year. One long year of exploring & knowing, revealing & reveling.

Of loving and loathing! Of laughter and laze!

********************

( Satvi-existence)