Zahra (Part II)

That is when I noticed her;
My husband’s wife!

A vampire bottled in a black rose, a devil’s inside with a rainbow outside, an ugly camouflaged beneath the white skin, a barbaric beast locked within a damsel.

And yes;a lunatic posing to be a part of the intelligentsia, a female version of the deadly venomous snake, a swine plastered with an enticing sensuality, a predatory passion behind the sugar coated love.

This of course i realized only after losing my man to her. Her magnetic eyelashes, silken hair, oceanic lips and gluttonous waist will speak volumes of her capacity to allure the naiveté and the sensible men alike and punish plainjanes like mewith shame and self pity. That’s what she did to me! Initially that is.

That evening after conversing with her for a few minutes (when I continued to stare at her bare cleavage without blinking my eyes) during the exquisite dinner party i accompanied him to, i rushed into the washroom.To look into the mirror,as if for the first time ever.

And i wondered why i wasn't named 'ugly' - i personified that.

I wanted to tear away my grotesque exterior that fails to speak my aesthetics to the world- a countenance that refuses to paint my glowing inside with sparks outside;

And I touched my palms-my touch like an ugly leech on a tender skin let the feel of myself rot;

My walk like a dirty pariah limping-distorts the level headedness within, creating an abstruse self-image;

My voice like a bad chalk screaming on the blackboard-makes foul all my sounds.

And i wondered why i wasn't named 'ugly' - i personified that.

But then, I can write. I can joyously suffocate my man in the literary pleasures that entice the mankind .Or so i thought. Until the next time; the next dinner party when i sat enchanted watching her dance.

Me and ‘our’ husband sat there mesmerized, tired exercising our iris, trying to capture all of her amazing charms into us.

Awed by;
The pace tied to her toes, that which transported us to a different world-we gorged on her celestial delight.

The lissome leaps, every single tap on the floor that created a magical mania in the room-we admired every inch of her mystical movements.

The graceful agility in the way she moved her bosom and torso creating soft flowing movements- we stood there engulfed in the lyrical prance of her silhouette.

And he fell in love. With her; aroused by her fanatical dance; intrigued by her lunatic fervor.

Exactly around that time,i fell in love too. With the written word; my pen performing the ‘Rudra tandava’ on the paper.

But her leaps won over my words; he preferred her sweet talk over my unpretentious conversations. Her arty killed my bland. And he deserted me;

For an insatiable woman who played the shady flirtation game with every man that gave food to her blown up ego.

For a materialistic devil that calculatedly drugged my lover and got him from wealth to rags.

And I survived alone. Cringing with the pain of betrayal. For the last 15yrs! Running away from his city and the old memories, hiding from her beauty and my inferiority, shunning his promiscuity, rebelling against the society for no reason and hating everything and everyone around me.

Till of course the ecstatic pleasure of writing freed me from the maddening webs i had created around myself.

And today as i gape at her impeccable face i smile to myself; I don’t feel hurt at all. Her facial skin is wrinkled and the sensuous smile faded; i feel a strange affection towards her. She looks fragile and weary,may be she has played enough games and now wants to live in peace-with herself and the world.

I decided to go up to her and talk. Ask her if she is doing fine, if she still dances the frenzied dance and if she is the mother of an obsessive teenaged daughter.

As i got up from the cozy seat and moved towards her, she called out for someone.An attendant, i presume. A nurse like lady walked upto the 'wife', carefully lifted her from the chair and seated her on a comfortable wheel chair.

And she moved on. Out of the cafe,to an unforgiving world.

So did i; tattered between the ugly remnants of a wife’s fury and a strong womanly pity that has crept in.

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(Zahra - Beauty)