Kanitha.

This dawn,

When i awoke i craved to sleep again. Sleep kills my cognizance; it’s a quiescent hibernation from this zany world.

I felt lost. Did not realize who i’m, whom the mist belonged to and who owned the skies. Didn’t want to deliberate on the purpose of my birth like i usually do in solitude. Didn’t want to clog my mind meditating on the pertinence of things i’ve to do through the day. Tried searching for some warm nostalgia. The memory of our love flashed through to gift a purplish coy smile but the thought of transient nature of togetherness erased the smile.

Can you?

Promise me a nomadic permanence. Promise me a beauty that beautifies scars. Create an insightful creativity in my soul. Simplify these complexities, give me muddled solutions. Resolve the unresolved, there are leading questions. Vow me recognition for my individual. Show me a world where “You” is supreme and “Your” banal.

Love my love, will you?

Word, my words. Brighten, my light. Paint, my colors. See, my vision. Voice, my speech. Understand my empathy. Ignore my ignorance. Dream my fantasy. Walk my path. Rage with my anger. Scream my shrieks.

Because I’m alone. I’m zilch. I own nothing. I’m incapable, crippled, and dead. Of anything, of everything. Enliven me .Enthuse me. Make me material. Tell them I’m consequential.

Make me woman. Make me man. Make bold my conviction. Mould me. Redo the mundane. Reshape me. Rearrange my life events. Be born with me. Make me wife. Make me right. Discover the artist in me. Invent a mother. Nourish a father. Child me. I’m dust. God me.

You can’t see me? I’m that dewdrop suspended on the yellow leaf stealing a quick glace onto your charming smile. Begging strength, seeking love. Disappearing in the mud.

Smelt that dewdrop, ever? There isn’t a fragrance; really. It is like a dead poetic verse making no sense, not even to the poet himself. It is a beauty that dies before its birth. It is an attempt that wants to be seen, but often goes unnoticed. A delicate touch that sends a shiver through my spine and vanishes like vapor.

That is what i’m. Feeble, famished and failed. Ignored, illegitimate and impotent. This dark dawn and the faint sunshine brings no vigor, gives no hope.

When i awoke i craved to sleep again. Sleep kills my cognizance; it’s a quiescent hibernation from this zany world.

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This dawn,

When i awoke, i craved to touch life anew. Sleep had stolen away few hours of sensual voluptuousness; wanted to indulge in beauty again.

I felt awe. Touched the mist cuddling the window rim and experienced the luxurious newness of life. I felt like i was born again, straight out of the suffocating womb to a whole new world filled with wondrous beauty- wanting to explore, bursting with curiosity. Sensed a cozy fondness in nature’s innocence. An abstract reflection of a life filled with our love flashed through my mind and this mere thought awakened a zillion ecstatic pleasures.

I will,

Gift you an engulfing ‘forever’ feeling. Bestow upon you bliss that surpasses all ‘Aha’s you have lived. Grant you intelligence; a thinking that doesn’t conflict with your emotional susceptibilities. Bless you with a third eye that can see beyond the obvious & decipher the abstract. Confer on you, an immortal patience that can disentangle the knots of a mortal life. Give you strength to re-create a universe where ‘You’ is everything and ‘Your’ trite.

Hear my voice in this stupefying morning silence, will you?

Melt into me, my child; my bosom is pregnant with the nectar -Let me feed you with all the unconditional love that i’m capable of, grant me the gift to teach you the lessons of naiveté understanding and supreme compassion.

Dissolve into my soul, my love; my heart is heavy with sensual desire-metamorphose into a cupid and steal the obsessive lust that will take you beyond the oblivion.

Give in to me, the father of my infact; ask from me the courage to struggle against illogic and gory pain. Burn those masks, shed that fake rusty manliness and cry on me tears of your failure & recalcitrance.

Because you are not alone. Come to me, I’m the Goddess of wealth .The mother of lives. The woman, of the man. The man that nurtures. A strength that weakens. I’m the mountain peak, I’m the ocean.

You can’t see me? I’m that mélange of colors ramp walking on the sky giving a glance of grandiloquence-forming drizzle, showering rain. Giving life. Evoking ecstasy.

Noticed the rainbow with keenness, ever? It is the feet of a dancer taking different shapes and forms; tapping fervently to that loud beat, forming a rhythm. A colorful beauty that you can sense in the darkness. It is an attempt that threatens to fail, but succeeds. And a mother-shining with fear, as she touches the finger tips of her new born child to see if the life is real.

That is what I’m. Impassioned, intense, innocent. Achieved, adored and admired. The disappearing moon and the new born sunshine kiss my iris, giving me life.

When i awoke, i craved to touch life anew. Sleep had stolen away few hours of sensual voluptuousness; wanted to indulge in beauty again.

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(Kanitha - Iris of the eye,Perspective)